Secret Wars: The All New All Different Avengers

Posted On Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Growing up I never rocked with The Avengers. To me those dudes were corny. Let's look at their crew. Their leader is Captain America, some dude who's weapon is a shield...a shield. Then you got Thor, a god who's weapon is a hammer...yup, a hammer. Hawkeye a dude who can shoot arrows real quick and who's weapon is a...yup, you guessed it a bow and arrow. Now don't forget Ant Man and his wifey the Wasp who's super power is to...shrink. And then you got the Hulk who's basically a giant wild green pit bull  who you take off the leash and just let him destroy stuff. Is anybody else starting to wonder why this movie broke all kinda box office records? In fact, the only Avengers I did mess with was Iron Man because dude was a womanizing billionaire and Falcon (was he ever REALLY in the crew tho?) because he was black. All of that to say, with the X Men on tap there was no way I was rocking with these dudes when I was growing up. And outside of Scarlett Johansson, I never really saw the hype around either of the Avenger movies. So with all of this Avengers hate going on I'm sure somebody is wondering why am I even diving into this new Avenger series? Welp,  I figure since we've got a new line up (kinda) with TWO black heroes this go 'round (I guess affirmative action is woking even in the Marvel Universe) and with the whole series getting a reboot...I'd give the cornball crew a shot at getting into my comic rotation.

The series sets off with Cap (who's now Sam Wilson aka The Falcon) saving a family from falling off the Queensboro bridge but not too many folk are impressed by it. In fact, most people are more interested in seeing what girl scout Cap is gonna buy cookies from. He eventually links up with Ghostface and we learn that Starks has sold off the Avengers Headquarters and the dude who copped it ends up talking to some Chitauri alien named Warbringer who's transported to earth and the new owner of the Avengers tower wants to link with dude to basically annihilate the human race. Feels like you've heard this story a MILLION times right? Alien comes to earth to take over blah, blah, blah. Yup. Same thing I'm thinking. Well, while these two are plotting on how they can organize the team, Spider Man (aka Miles Morales the half black, half latino Spider Man) is ear hustlin' and ends up getting into a rumble with the Warbringer which leads to him getting thrown out the tower. Which then leads to Stark's flying car (yeah, dude has a flying car a la the Jetsons) turning into his Iron Man armor to join the battle with Cap and Spidey til Warbringer basically shuts ish down and sets off an explosion that knocks everybody out.

Next thing you know Spidey webbing up cap's injuries and Vision appears outta nowhere to get Starks out his armor and save his life. And while that crew is chopping it up with Mr. Gryphon (the dude who copped the tower) Nova (who's this dude?) and Ms. Marvel (is her powers to make her hands extremely large?) are left to fighting Warbringer. That is til Thor (who's now a girl smdh) joins the party and tries her hand at throwing that exciting hammer of hers at Warbringer just to see Mr. Gryphon move the hammer around Warbringer which gives everyone that reaction you got when you first heard Mobb's "Shook Ones Part 2." You know...that "oh ish look?" Yeah that one. So, we're left wondering who is this Mr. Gryphon, what are his powers, why'd he buy the tower, why is he helping Warbringer AND  who all is in the All New All Different Avengers Squad? And then this real tiny question of why the hell is Thor a chick now? So far, the series is cool and it will probably keep my attention long enough to answer some of these questions but only time will tell if this new Avengers crew can actually carve out their own place to actually stay in my rotation.

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