Secret Wars: Batman #40

Posted On Wednesday, July 8, 2015

It hasn't been a good past couple of years for 3 of my favorite super heroes, Spiderman, Wolverine and Batman. Why? Well, basically cause they've all been paid a visit by Chris & Snoop. In other words, they've all recently died. Peter Parker was the first to go when a dying Doc Oc somehow, someway liked Organized switched place with him which led to Parker dying and Do Oc taking over his body and becoming the Superior Spiderman. Next to go was Logan in the "Death of Wolverine" series after he lost his healing factor and was coated with molten admantium. Next up to bat (no pun intended) is Batman. Now before we go into how Bruce Wayne dies lets look at one of the beefs I have with comics nowadays which are the 50 million titles all for the same characters. It's like each character has at least 5 comics with 5 different storylines going on. Some in the same universe, some in other universes but the moral is, it's too much for me to keep up with so I usually end up picking one title to follow. And for Batman (who has 7, count 'em 7 comics...Detective Comics, Batman Arkham Knight, Batman Beyond, Batman, Batman & Robin, Batman '66 & Batman & Superman) I started rocking with the Batman & Robin and the Batman & Superman series. So, the other day man dude Bos hits me like, "check out Batman #40." And if dude tells me to check something out...I'm all in. And in a nutshell, Batman and the Joker have one of their epic rumbles and in the end, while they're both dying on the floor of a cave, the roof collapses and they both die. 

Now, we ALL know that dying in comic books is like dying on Mario Brothers and that heroes will be back before you even miss them. (See Peter Parker coming back from the dead RIGHT around the time that I got used to Doc Oc being Spiderman) Now, for me the problem isn't always about killing folk off in comics, it's what you do after you kill them off. And what comes after they kill off Bruce Wayne (which they've already hinted to may not even be dead) is a damn mockery of the story of the dude who was just voted the most popular super hero EVER! So what happens? In a nutshell, there's a robotic batman suit (think Robocop) that Commissioner Gordon...yes, fucking Commissioner Gordon takes over and becomes the new Batman. Did ya'll read what I just said? Old ass Commissioner Gordon is the new Batman. Now, in the immortal words of KRS One, that's just wick wick wack! First of all, I know comic book characters don't age, but Commissioner Gordon had to be pushing 60 back when the Batman TV series was out back in '66. So even if time stood still, you got a 60 year old man, in a robotic batsuit, fighting crime? Word? 

So basically the dark knight, the illest detective on the planet is now DC's version of Iron Man? And somebody at DC thought this was a dope idea huh? Welp, then somebody should be fired. And I don't mean now but RIGHT NOW! I mean, come on, ya'll are ruining my dude. Have Nightwing be the new Batman, maybe Bruce had a nephew or somebody who just happens to be a crime fighting, detective ninja who inherits all of his money become the new Batman. Hell, have Damion be the new Batman (even though he's probably 3 feet smaller then him) before you tell me Commissioner Gordon is the new Batman. And he's the new Batman in an Iron Man suit. Now, I won't hold you I'll keep reading in hopes that this hot hell of a mess of a story doesn't last more then 2 more issues but if this Snyder dude (the writer of the new Batman series) keeps this hoopla going a lil too long, I'm gonna have to get Chris & Snoop to go pay him a visit after they breeze past Sam Hinkie's crib in Philly.

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