Secret Wars: Original Sin

Posted On Saturday, July 26, 2014

Back in the 80's there was a night time soap opera called Dallas. And whether you watched it or not (I didn't) EVERYONE knew about the "who shot JR" storyline. The storyline was so popular Saturday Night Live ended up "weird al Yankovicking" it and did a spoof called "who shot Buckwheat." Now, this "who done it" storyline may have been ill in the 80's, to me they don't hold any weight 30 years later. With that said, things must be pretty bad on the Marvel side of things if in 2014 the best storyline they could come up with for their new series "Original Sin" is a who done it mystery. In a nutshell, someone bodied the for me, we can stop right there. I mean, who REALLY cares about the Watcher?!?!? See, what made the whole JR storyline so dope was JR was one of the most popular characters on the show. He wasn't some off brand character that nobody cared about. Having a series about who shot the Watcher is like having an entire spinoff series of The Wire about who shot Kennard. Not one episode mind you, but an entire series based off a character who's most famous line is "package up my ass gump." So, you've got damn near the entire Marvel Universe running around trying to find out who murked this dude. Oh yeah, I forgot to add in that whoever murked him also stole his eyes...yup, you read that right, they stole his eyes. And what's even crazier is this wack villain named Orb who is a dude who's head is an eyeball. read that right, dude's entire head is just an eyeball. Since the Watcher has seen everything and knows everyone's secrets, the one storyline I do rock with is when Orb opens up the Watcher's eye (yup...ya'll read that right too) and MAD secrets come out, one of the folks who get put on blast is Tony Starks which ends up having the Hulk coming at his neck. So with all of this corniness going on do I actually think this series is gonna get better? Probably not. I lost faith in the once great Marvel universe and their writers with their XMen vs. Avengers series which should've been epic but was nuthin close to that. But I will hang around to see what other secrets crept out the Watcher's eye and to find out if the Hulk finally beats the brakes off of Iron Man. But I swear if they introduce a character who's head is the Watcher's ear I'm done with Marvel for good!

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