The Miseducation: The Big Payback

Posted On Friday, November 1, 2013

Most folk who come through here should know by now that I’m a BIG dog lover. I wanted to buy a blue pitbull named Danger and ended up with a Yorkie named Boots but I love my dude nonetheless. So every now and then I do the knowledge on trying to learn more about dogs and why they do what they do. The other day I was wondering why dogs like to be pet and I came across this article. Check it out…


Dogs taken from abusive situations hold no grudges toward the human race. A half an ounce of kindness from a new person results in an abundance of affection from the formerly mistreated dog. Humans rarely have the capacity to so completely forgive and love under those circumstances.Probably the biggest reason the dog has become man’s best friend is because we know that when it comes to love, a dog can always outdo us. The highest form of love, agape love, which is completely unconditional, is something that people often have to work at or grow into. Agape love seems to come naturally between parent and child, but it’s more difficult between husband and wife, and harder still between friends. To love someone regardless of what wrongs they have done you is very difficult for humans. A dog, however, is born with an endless capacity for unconditional love, and doesn’t even have to work at it. 

You can be a complete grouch, ignore your dog, and refuse him your love. When you decide you’re ready to be sociable again, your dog doesn’t pay you back by ignoring you too. He’s just happy you’re there. More amazing still, is that the love that dogs and owners feel for each other lasts a lifetime. This is the ideal love humans strive for, but often fail at. This is why we need dogs. They do something for us that rarely a human companion can do. No matter how much you mess up your life, or how much wrong you do, no matter how many mistakes you make or how often you make them, regardless of your looks, income or social standing, your dog never judges you. He always thinks you are wonderful and loves you with all his heart."

Boots standing guard while Nay washes the car...

There were a lot of things that stood out in this article for me but the main thing that stuck out was that the dog has no need or wants to pay you back for how you’ve treated them. They just want to move forward. And how many of us have THAT problem? You know...wanting to pay folk back who have wronged us or pissed us off. I know that was one of the things that I PRIDED myself on in the past. That if you did something to me, you could bet money it was gonna be coming back your way in a minute. And I gotta say that I was damn good on my pay back cause I could wait days, weeks, months even a year before the payback came your way. Because the whole point of the payback for me was that it had to look like it came natural. I didn’t want the chick to know that I was paying her back for what she had done to me because that would seem like I was petty right? (which I was) I wanted it to seem like “karma” was paying her back. And when you go for payback like that, you gotta be REAL patient. Patient like Jay Z said in “Dead President”…“and I got nothing but time.” To be honest, that was one of the hardest things I had to change about myself when I got married. Because when Tee and I would get into arguments and she couldn’t see my side of first reaction was always “oh, you gonna see my side of things. I’ll make sure of that!” But since I had just gotten saved, I was suppose to be doing things God’s way and not my way anymore…right? Fiiiiiiiiiine…but my first thought was “God, you better hurry up and take care of this and don’t be taking all day.” (yeah, I kinda talk to God like he’s my homeboy. I don’t do a lot of the “thee” and “Father God” convos) But the more I grew in knowing God, the more I realized that you can’t have a loving relationship whether it’s your marriage, with your sibling, parents or friends if all you’re worried about is constantly paying somebody back.

God showed me through time that it’s not about paying somebody back but allowing Him to show that person how you felt about the situation. Now whether that’s Him speaking to their heart or allowing them to go through a similar situation and allowing the shoe to be on the other foot, I’ve learned that God is gonna handle each and every situation better then we can.

Now after 12 years of marriage, it’s REALLY hard to find a situation where Tanya doesn’t know my pain or vice versa because throughout the years God has placed both of us in each other’s shoes enough that now we can quickly say to each other, “I feel what your saying” and mean it. And a lot of times in our marriage or in any relationships, that’s all we really wanna hear, that the person we love knows and understands how we feel. So this week’s challenge is simple, dead the payback! No more “I’m gonna show him” or “I’m gonna show her.” Take a step back and let God show them what HE wants them to see, not you. I know it may take a minute, but trust me the waiting will mos def be worth it!

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